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Monday, August 30, 2010

The Truth About Home Teachers

Sunshine During a Rainstorm

In my church, families and other members are assigned two brethren, whom we call home teachers, to visit during the month to see how the family is doing, give them assistance when they need it, and share a spiritual message. Or at least that is how it is supposed to work. Sometimes one or both of those brethren never show up, show up on short notice, wait until the last day of the month to visit or completely annoy you. I think I only had one that just completely annoyed the heck out of me...he was the brother that talked forever and never had a point to anything he said. Eventually, I just made lies about how we were busy when he wanted to come over and gab.

Our current home teachers haven't always visited us every month, but it's always great when they do. Mostly because I'm in for the chatting fellowshipping part. Which actually yesterday inspired me to tell the truth.

But first we talked about how to grow pot, specifically making fun of someone who thought they could get some good bud with one plant and how my parents grew reefer under the kitchen sink when I was a baby using grow lights.

Then one of the home teachers talked about how he is testing to be a police officer, so I shut up about how I one time smoked pot when I was fourteen. Instead I told him that I thought about being a police officer for a little while until I learned just how much they put their lives on the line. It is my opinion that my life is more important than any stranger's life. So instead I told him how I would love to be a code enforcement officer--I'd have the authority I want with just the right touch of action when someone got pissed off at me for telling them their grass is too long.

It was at that point that one of the home teachers began talking about how annoying it is to get code enforcement warnings. I then said that I'm "tight" with mine. Of course my husband had to ruin that statement by saying, "Well we've gotten tickets before for tree limbs in the trailer before."

That's when I was left with no other option but to confess:

"Oh yah Honey, I've been meaning to tell you about that. I flagged him down one day when he was in the neighborhood and asked him to give me that warning because I knew it was the only thing that'd get you to go to the dump."

And that's the other thing about home teachers: They inspire you to tell the truth. And they laugh with you while your husband stares at you in disbelief.

PS: Winner of the Growing Tree Toys give away has been contacted! Thank you to everyone who entered! Another great give away coming tomorrow while I am at court for the juror summons. Hint, hint...It's JEWELRY!

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