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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What I Wish I Would've Known When I Was Twenty About Turning Thirty

Self Portrait

In about five months I will be turning thirty years old. I welcome this new decade which seems to be rushing quickly upon me both mentally and physically. I honestly believe for the the first time in my adult life that I will be taken seriously. Hold on. I'm hoping for the first time in my adult life that I will be taken seriously. When you're a twenty-something you are technically a grown-up, however because of your age and assumed lack of experience in life it seems your words, beliefs, and thoughts are undervalued no matter what your life experiences may be.

And honestly not all of my thoughts should be taken seriously. At least not the random ones.

Some of you just turned twenty or will be soon. You think that you can take on the world and do anything...however the law says you can't even buy yourself a beer. When you're twenty-four and have three children under your belt (or muffin top) still you are treated like an adolescent because obviously you are too young to know what being a parent is all about (they were right). When you're twenty-seven...twenty-eight, you remember what it was like to be nineteen and you reflect on what you thought then about late aged twenty-somethings and you realize that you are now that older person and you have nothing to show for it especially if you've been a stay-at-home-mom for all that time.

I'm 29, I have three kids aged five, six, and seven, I've been married for almost ten years, and the last time I had a real full-time job I was fresh out of college and barely twenty. Besides my one month stint at a fabric store and another month pulling staples out of checks and foreclosures at a mortgage company I haven't been paid to work for ten years. This creates a real predicament if I decide to get a job once my kids are all in school in one month.

I may have to rename this blog, "Fresh Confessions of a Screwed Up Texan at the Taco Bell."

Because Walmart won't hire me...I've already tried that at least thrice.

Things I wish I would have known when I was twenty about turning thirty:

  1. You will still get zits.
  2. You will grow chin and neck hair (which proves hairy men are more feminine) as well as a front butt.
  3. Older people look young and young people look even younger.
  4. You will color your hair in one last attempt to feel youthful and also because you've got lots of gray.
  5. You won't care so much about what people think.
  6. Energy will need to be supplemented by either a healthful lifestyle or caffeine. You pick.
  7. You realize that maybe you should have finished that one last semester of college. Selling stuff on eBay sounds easier than getting a job.
  8. You wonder why you ever thought it would be a good idea to go into debt.
  9. Vacation to you is an empty house with only you in it.
  10. Living off $30,000 a year with five kids and a mortgage isn't so hard anymore. Wait, I only have three kids.

So, if you are in your thirties, just left the decade, or are about to enter the magical decade soon, what all have you learned about being thirty?

And if you are still young, what do you look forward to the most about being thirty?

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The Boob Nazi said...

I like to think I know it all right now.... haha

blessedintexas said...

You crack me up, girl! Front butt - I've been looking for a name for that "front pooch, sagging skin, oh darn those kids for stretching out my belly" area. The thirties are a wonderful time. You don't care what others think so you are more free to be yourself and really find your groove. Enjoy!

Kristen said...

I'm 25 and by the time I'm 30 I (hopefully) will have been a mom for two-ish years, (also hopefully) be getting to do the whole stay-at-home thing, and learning all the lessons that go along with both of those. Right now, that's what I'm looking forward to the most!

Lol and yeah, I already deal with the chin hair thing. I blame a combination of German ancestry and the medications I'm on for my body jumping that particular gun. Hooray tweezers!

FluffyChicky said...

I turn 30 next month. Bleh.

And I still get zits. And I hate it.

queen of everything said...

do i get extra points if the dr pepper is from dublin? i will be 32 in october and when i turned 30 i did a post on what i had learned in my first 3 decades. i think most of them hold true still. i'm also a sahm who hasn't worked a "real" job in... a while. good luck with the magic decade, i have loved it so far.

Candance said...

I'll be 35 in October. It makes me want to vomit. So far, I've learned that people aren't kidding that your metabolism STOPS when you turn 30 and trying to lose 10 pounds feels like trying to lose 100. I've also learned that the eyes really are the first to go, some smart ass kid at jujitsu will call you an old lady and it'll make you want to slam him fingers in the door real hard, and it really is offensive when someone says, "You look really good for 34." How is 34 supposed to look?

On the upside, though, I feel free to say and do as I want cause I don't give a rat's you-know-what what people think or say about me anymore. And my hair looks real good.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Blessed, Yes, the front butt, LOL!

Queen, Double brownie points if it's Dublin Dr Pepper!!! I need to add that disclaimer.

Candance, Crap, how is 34 supposed to look? Hopefully it'll be a look that keeps me from getting carded every time I buy spray paint.

The Durham Family said...

30 is fabulous! I love your top 10 list!

R. J. said...

I shouldn't tell you what 66 feels like.

Screwed Up Texan said...

RJ, Ha!

J said...

Hi, I'm a lurker. Not true, I met you once at a DFW Blogger meetup 100 years ago.

Anyway, this post makes me feel oooold since I am now 32. Last week I had to put my age on something and I literally had to subtract this year from the year I was born to remember how old I am. Sad.

When I spent half of my 20's trying to ignore things I should have been dealing with and the other half dealing with them in therapy and with drugs... by the end of my 20's I was married, something I never thought would happen! And now, I have a family.

I think maybe I would tell myself in my 20's to stop making so much fun of those married people with kids and keep my mind a little more open.

Also, appreciate that 20's butt and metabolism while I could... I didn't realize how fast it was going to go!

Screwed Up Texan said...

J, where did your butt go? I can still see mine, HA! ;P Thanks for the comment...we think we know everything and then we grow up and realize we know nothing.

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

I just turned 30 in June and I have a 12 year old..I think I am just now mature enough to possibly have a child if I had done things correctly! My Mom once told me that you are always the same person in your head, you just age on the outside. I didn't listen then, but I know what she means now. I am proud to be thirty, and I only want to be around people my age now because anyone any younger gets on my nerves!

Tempest Ahoy said...

Hahahahahahaha! Oh, YES. So true, all of it.

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

I loved my thirties. In fact, I wish they would take me back. I'm 3 months into 40 and just not feelin' the love.

Good list SUT, but no one who is 20 wants to hear any of that. :)

NitWit1 said...

I'm with R. J. but I know 73. Would not want to depress you further. But you'll find a way to enjoy each decade. You seem very good at coping and acceptance.

Gypsy Heart said...

Hi there fellow Texan!
I'm more than twice your age ~ and I promise, it gets better with each decade. I almost had a nervous breakdown ~ j/k ~ prior to my 30th birthday but I made it and absolutely LOVED my 30's. In fact, if I had a do-over, that's the age I would choose, nothing younger. In my humble opinion, every female goes through a "change of life" experience around the age of 30. It may be 28 or could be 32 but your values change, your outlook on life, you begin not to care or worry as much about other's opinions, you are wondering what to do with the rest of your life. That's not a professional opinion, just mine. :-)

Every day that we have is a HUGE blessing! Take time for YOU and enjoy ~


Le'Ann Ruggles said...

The 30's was all about raising the tiny child I had at 29. When you are ready to talk about what to expect in your 40's... just let me know.

BTW... we may be headed up to E-Rock on Labor Day weekend. Any chance you might be there again? ;)

Screwed Up Texan said...

Alright, for all y'all over thirty-something, I think y'all should write a post about what to expect when you're 40, 50, 60, 70, ect. For some reason, I think it'll be interesting.

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