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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Wednesday Rambles: PMS will make you do crazy stuff

Me and Branden at the Flower Mound Tweetup


So, I'm totally copying Crazy Texas Mommy on this post today. Not her post, but her idea. In fact, I tried to ask her permission and texted her then I realized I texted her landline, but I wasn't about to pay $2.99 to convert that text to a voice message. Because I'm cheap. Also, I could have called her, but I was afraid she'd think I was weird. But I totally think Crazy Texas Mommy is my replacement sister for the totally cool one that died a couple years ago, but not because I got all stabby.

  • I was wondering last week if I made the right decision over a year ago to cut my mother out of my life for good. I couldn't help but wonder if somehow I had sinned.
  • Then my other sister called and said my mother had tried to steal her daughter over the weekend.
  • Then Dave Ramsey said that we should honor our father and mother, but only if they honor their position of mother and father.
  • And my friend said something about following our leaders but not to Hell.
  • And I was okay with kicking my mother to the curb again.
  • Also over the weekend I nearly scalped my children because they: totally ripped their bedroom door off the hinges, drew with a fat sharpie all over the white carpet, and pretty much fought 24/7. Really, I was ready to lock them in their closets and go to jail for it.
  • Then I woke up Monday morning and realized I had been PMSing for the last week. Oh and my sheet is stained again which is totally going to piss my husband off. Monday's a wench.
  • And I may or may not have taken Dave Ramsey's words out of context. But I don't think I did.
  • There's a creep following me on my Facebook fanpage. He doesn't realize that I know he's a creep though.
  • But I have a gun and know how to use it. It's loaded and locked. Better than Crazy Texas Mommy's knife.
  • I told a group of people I barely know at a restaurant at a tweetup about me stabbing my foot with a knife while making love. Then again, I also told all 500+ of y'all.
  • The above photo is me and Branden at the tweetup. I don't think he remembers it. No, I was not drinking...unless Dr Pepper counts.
  • Also, I want to go to the doctor and say, "Doc, I have three boys that are driving me crazy and demolishing my house...any chance you can write me a prescription for medical marijuana?" But I think I'd have to live in Oregon or California or something for that to work.

So, for more Wednesday Rambles randomness head on over to Crazy Texas Mommy's blog. You'll be glad you did.

Peace Y'all.

And Candance, please don't hate me.

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10 Comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

I'm too PMS crazy. I have to only have periods a few times a year because I'm so insane.

Candance said...

You're a dork. I don't hate you. You can totally use Wednesday rambles. I just can't make a button for it cause, well, you know.

It's perfectly okay kicking your mother to the curb, I had/have a creepy stalker on my blog, and my kids are on the crack, too. I had to admit to my kid I've smoked the weed, but I lied and told her it was only once and that I didn't like it.

I'll send you my cell phone number so you can text me. But, I wouldn't think you're weird for calling me.

And, I way flattered that you think I'm the replacement for your cool sister that died. That made me smile a lot.

And, thanks for linking to me. I heart you, Honey!

Foursons said...

If you find a doctor who writes that script please leave me his name and number. Thanks.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Boob, I believe it.

CTM, Youre funny, that weed part almost sounded like Clinton for a second, except I cant remember if he said he liked it or not.

Foursons, noted.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Yeah. I'm gonna need that number too.

Lady Pepper said...

Hey, you made that tweetup LEGENDARY! Well that, and @lupin_bebop missing his chair.

Jane said...

I'm sire some other curious person already asked -- but after you stabbed yourself in the foot, did you finish the deed? ;-)

Jane said...

Sure. Not sire. But then we all know where my mind was at.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Jane, you know what...I don't remember...wait, yes we did.

captbrando said...

I'm a hot piece of ass.

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