Saturday morning after garage saling I got the grand idea of going fossil hunting. I must have forgotten just how hot it was outside already at 10 am, nearly 95 F, but I was bored and wanted to do something as a family. My husband had already spent the morning working and then mowing the neighbor's lawns and I knew if I didn't nag him right then that he'd probably spend the rest of the day on his computer playing World of Warcrack. As he likes to brag, he's already got six 80s...which to anyone who has a Warcrack addict in their home can attest to: that means he spends a lot of time on the computer. More than even me.
So, after thoroughly nagging my husband about hitting the road and fossil hunting he said we could go but only if I washed the dishes first. If you remember my Friday Petrified Cereal post, then you also know that it took me one hour to wash, rinse, shake off (who dries anyway), and put away all the dishes that were sitting in the kitchen sink.
Yes, I am a slob.
Don't even look at my living room right now. As I tell unexpected company, "apologies if it looks like someone actually lives here."
So, around 11:30 am we packed up the kids in the van and headed north towards Fannin County to do some fossil hunting down in the North Sulphur River. I have no idea what I was thinking.
Once we got down into the riverbed I realized just how hot it really was. I had seen a sign either at a bank or a church not too far away that displayed a temperature of 104 F. Down in the half dried riverbed the sun glaring off the water and rocks made it feel more like 110 F, and I wouldn't have doubted it even for a moment. I thought the temperature wouldn't feel so badly if I waded in the water for a little bit, so I instructed the boys to take their shoes and socks off and get in the 12-18 inch water with me. The gods really must not have been in my favor that day because lo and behold the water felt hotter than the air.
The water was almost unbearable as it soaked through my shoes. Even Lily, our dog, did not want to get in it. If I hadn't known any better, I'd have thought it were a hot spring. However, this frog thought hot water was the place to be:
One mosasaur tooth, two shark teeth, several fish teeth, and one hour later I had finally had enough. I was ready to go home. None of us had brought anything to drink and by now my stomach felt light headed, my mouth and lips felt dry, and I was beginning to get a light headache. In fact, the beginning stages of heat exhaustion were starting to set in. I knew it was bad when my husband said he too was ready to go. I walked back to the bridge where our van was parked, rested for a few minutes, and then climbed back to the top alone. I then sat there and drank two Gatorades and committed myself to never visiting the North Sulphur River on a 100 plus degree day again.
But I discovered Blueberry Pomegranate flavored Gatorade, and that almost made everything better. Oh, and reminded me again of this dude...the last happy man in America:
If you smiled while watching that video...then you might be a redneck.