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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Just a Mom - Guest Post by Frazzled LaShawn

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I have been on pretty much all sides of the Mommy Wars. You know the Mommy Wars. The constant battle over who has it harder and who is in the right. Who is raising their children the right way and who is ruining their children forever. Yes, those Mommy Wars.

I began as the young mom. I married at 18 and had my first son at age 19. Then, I was a stay at home mom for the first 11 months of my oldest son's life. After those 11 months I went back to work full time. So I was a working mom. I was also a military wife at the time. Anyone knows that being a mom within the military life is a different world all its own. Then I was the stay at home mom to two. Then back to work. THEN the big one....I was a single, full time working, part time student mom.

Are you still with me?

Then I was the stay at home mom again. Then we added son #3 and son #4. So now I am the stay at home, homeschooling mom of four.

All this to say, I understand where almost every woman is coming from. I understand the need to feel important to yourself and to the world as something other than "just a mom". I understand that deep down desire to be the most important person in your child's world. I understand the wanting to stay at home and be with your children as much as possible. I understand the need to have a life of your own outside your home. I understand that sometimes being a mom can be a drag. I also understand there is no more important job in the world. I also know, that no matter what stage of motherhood I have been in I have ALWAYS had terrible guilt about something. Guilt about dropping my kids off with strangers for nine hours a day. Guilt about not feeding them enough vegetables. Guilt about yelling too much or not paying enough attention. Guilt, it's what we moms do.

So I am here to say that I know that 99.9% of moms are good moms that only want what is best for their children. I believe in my case that is to be a stay at home, homeschooling mom. What is best for you and your kids? I don't have a clue. I don't pretend to know. On the same note, no one outside God, me and my husband can dictate what being a good mom to MY kids looks like.

In the name is LaShawn. I am just a mom.

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**LaShawn is a homeschooling mom of four boys. Her days are spent wrangling children, reading books to her kids, cleaning up messes and dreaming of the beach. She is married to her soul mate and blogs at Frazzled LaShawn.


Mummy said...

Great post, and its true we all want what is best.

Anonymous said...

Hi LaShawn! You do have a unique perspective living so many sides of the coin - and who knew there were more than two? I love that it has brought you to the place so many are still striving for - figuring out that what's best for our own family won't look or work the same for everyone else. Thanks for sharing!

ForeverRhonda said...

Excellent post and spot on about every mom feeling guilty, no matter what the situation is.

Alison said...

OMG the guilt! For stupid little things...I should have read one more book instead of putting her to bed a few minutes early...or...she watched too much tv today....or i didn't re apply her sunscreen after she got out of the pool....this is totally what I have been feeling all day today.

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