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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Joke's On Me...Probably

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I. Am. Finally. Back.

After a week-and-a-half of guest bloggers on Screwed Up Texan you were wondering what had happened to me, right?

Let's just say I had a wonderfully fun and relaxing road trip and vacation over the last week and a half. I arrived home mid-Monday and have taken the last couple days of sleeping off my driving fatigue. Can you believe we actually drove straight to and from Utah? We were planning on camping in New Mexico for at least one of the nights, but instead ended up sleeping on the side of the road twice! All I have to say is that by the grace of Dr Pepper and highly caffeinated energy drinks we were able to drive straight through.

The best part? The kids slept all during the night. No whining. No fighting. No "I have to go pee" one-hundred-eighty times. Which basically meant we didn't have to travel with yellow stuff in a bottle between gas fill-ups.

True story.

Also, I discovered what a great family my husband has...well, after the traditional Prettyman weigh-in. That's right, every time we visit my husband's mother trucker's side of the family we all have to step on the scale in the guise of seeing if my husband's grandfather and he weigh the same. My result? I now weigh as much as his grandmother. Except that no one could make fun of me because every fifteen minutes someone was offering me food like I looked like I was starving. Like I was going to tell his family no.

I mean, get real. Come on. My mother-in-law already hates me.

Which reminds me about what my youngest son did to one of her plants while we were there. First, we didn't really tell many that we were coming for a visit. Basically that meant my mother-in-law and her boyfriend were on the road when we came to her house the next day. She's been growing an orange tree in Utah and over the winter it bloomed and got one orange on it. ONE. All winter and all spring long she has been coaxing and watching this one orange get bigger and bigger. When I saw the orange it was green and about the size of a baseball. Apparently, my youngest thought that since it was so big, he'd pick it. When he showed it to us I knew my mother-in-law was going to be pissed (I mean, if this were my orange I'd be mad too! Wait. My husband's mother and I agree on one thing.) So, I told my middle child to hold it because I thought she'd be the least mad at him, took a photograph with my phone, and then sent her the following text:

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Thanks for the Gordon Creek orange. Love, Your Grandson.

I haven't heard from her since.

But that's okay...I took a bottle of her shampoo. And used her razor. Or at least I think it was her razor--for all I know it could be her boyfriend's or any other random person that lives in that house. So maybe the joke is on me.

But enough of my mother-in-law already!

I should also tell you how fun my husband's family is! The biggest reason we planned our vacation for this particular week is because the family reunion was also that weekend. I've never been to a Van Wagoner reunion before. Well actually I havent been to any kind of family reunion since that one time when I was about nine and my older sister got third degree sunburns while my mother hid in the camper because the in-laws were getting drunk and fighting outside.

Here's a taste of my father-in-law playing with the kids (please ignore my screaming at the end, but I hate moths):

What you don't see is Great-Grandpa pretending to eat the moth and faking out all the children afterward.

Tomorrow, be sure to check out what happens when adults get a hold of little kid toys at family reunions. Let's just say it was hard to tell who the grownups were.

PS: Chevy sponsored my roadtrip by providing me and family with a 2010 Chevy Traverse...much thanks to them for their generosity. More on that later.


DangGina said...

Welcome back! -So glad your MIL wasn't in attendance (at her own home?)! Nicely planned!

Candance said...

Way to avoid the MIL. I am impressed with your mad skillz, YO!

Family reunions rock! The last one we went to my uncle (bless his sweet little hear), swallowed his partial while eating a chicken back and I fractured my ankle. Good times!!

Screwed Up Texan said...

DangGina, It's really all my husband's

Candance, Your family reunions sound about as much redneck as mine were!

Jill C. said...

I hate moths too! Looks like you had a great time!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Jill, Good to know I am not the only one!

AZ Mommy said...

We have driven straight through from Phoenix, AZ to Dallas, TX more than once. My husband loves to do that (he may be crazy).
Way to avoid the MIL!!

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