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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Snips and Snails and Alien Tales


When I was in the third grade I discovered that I could melt slugs with salt. I think my great-grandmother had actually shown me this trick first, but I hadn't paid much attention to it until I was over at a church friend's home and encountered slugs by the hundreds. Every morning in the summer we'd visit this friend because my mother was my church friend's nanny and each morning my friend's backyard fence and back porch would be covered in snails and slugs. So each morning my mother would give us kids some salt and we'd commence to dissolving slugs by the dozens.

I only wondered if the slugs were in pain until years later after I watched Alien Nation, but even then I didn't care.

This probably also explains why I think people who eat escargot are weird.

Anybody remember this episode from Alien Nation entitled "Real Men"?

By the way, you can apparently watch ten television episodes of Alien Nation on Youtube. I about cracked up when the opening credits mentioned civil liberty unions lobbied for the aliens in Los Angeles. Only in America.

Then yesterday I caught my youngest in the front yard playing with something fat, yet long. At first I thought it was yet another snake, but then I realized he had a four-inch long slug slithering on his arms. I barfed a little in my mouth and then ran inside and grabbed my camera.

I took several photographs of the wretched thing, then asked my five-year-old if he wanted to melt it with salt (I showed him this trick early). To my dismay, he screamed NO! and then threw it half-way across the front yard so I couldn't find it. I rolled my eyes at him (I'm such a grown-up) and then went inside and prepared to upload the photos onto my computer to show y'all. Wouldn't you know if I accidentally deleted them in the process...

Lucky you.

But no fear--as I was cooking dinner later, look what I found on my kitchen floor:

Just how it got into my home I haven't the slightest. Then again I don't know how half the spiders, rolly pollies, snakes, and bees get into my home. That my friends is a secret only my children know.

Like the mystery to hanging a Hotwheels truck perpendicular to their two-story bedroom window.


I'm telling you, if I go insane by the end of the summer, you know why.


DangGina said...

Ah, boys will be boys. Ha! I'm not one who's big on killing things, but slugs are nasty in so many ways, that I think melting them with salt is a beautiful option.

So gross that he ended up in your kitchen, of all places...

Aren't you glad school's almost out?! ;)

Mary said...

I had never even heard of Alien Nation before today.... and I am fairly certain I won't be venturing to You Tube to check those episodes out. Your clip thouroughly grossed out this preggo for the day! :)

Oh, and just so you know, I think of you every time I drink a Dr. Pepper. (so that means a lot)...

Screwed Up Texan said...

DangGina, Salt is awesome.

Mary, LOL! I can't stop laughing and you should have seen the look on my five yo's face when I showed him the episode!

Dr Pepper should give me a year's supply.

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

Gross! Ick! Ew!

I would have to move.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Mindee, re Gross Ick Ew...which part? The alien giving birth or the slug? lol

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

Spring/early summer brings lots of slugs to my patio! I once stepped on one barefooted! *gag*
I can't salt looks like they are writhing in pain!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Penn, Guess what I found on my kitchen counter before I had ingested any caffeine this morning...a salt covered slug! EWWWWW!

I once stepped on a maggot.

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