When I was in the third grade I discovered that I could melt slugs with salt. I think my great-grandmother had actually shown me this trick first, but I hadn't paid much attention to it until I was over at a church friend's home and encountered slugs by the hundreds. Every morning in the summer we'd visit this friend because my mother was my church friend's nanny and each morning my friend's backyard fence and back porch would be covered in snails and slugs. So each morning my mother would give us kids some salt and we'd commence to dissolving slugs by the dozens.
I only wondered if the slugs were in pain until years later after I watched Alien Nation, but even then I didn't care.
This probably also explains why I think people who eat escargot are weird.
Anybody remember this episode from Alien Nation entitled "Real Men"?
By the way, you can apparently watch ten television episodes of Alien Nation on Youtube. I about cracked up when the opening credits mentioned civil liberty unions lobbied for the aliens in Los Angeles. Only in America.
Then yesterday I caught my youngest in the front yard playing with something fat, yet long. At first I thought it was yet another snake, but then I realized he had a four-inch long slug slithering on his arms. I barfed a little in my mouth and then ran inside and grabbed my camera.
I took several photographs of the wretched thing, then asked my five-year-old if he wanted to melt it with salt (I showed him this trick early). To my dismay, he screamed NO! and then threw it half-way across the front yard so I couldn't find it. I rolled my eyes at him (I'm such a grown-up) and then went inside and prepared to upload the photos onto my computer to show y'all. Wouldn't you know if I accidentally deleted them in the process...
But no fear--as I was cooking dinner later, look what I found on my kitchen floor:
Just how it got into my home I haven't the slightest. Then again I don't know how half the spiders, rolly pollies, snakes, and bees get into my home. That my friends is a secret only my children know.
Like the mystery to hanging a Hotwheels truck perpendicular to their two-story bedroom window.
I'm telling you, if I go insane by the end of the summer, you know why.