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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Conversation Starters


My Thrift Store Finds: Texas 150th Anniversary Commemorative Glasses

My four-year-old son is going through a phase right now where he seems to be constantly engaged in arguing, disagreeing, and doing things he knows he is not supposed to do. The one thing that really gets to me is the last one--doing things he knows he is not supposed to do. His reasoning? Because he wants to. Makes perfect sense to him.

Like turning all the landscapes bricks over.
Taking grass snakes to his brothers' school.
Cutting his hair with a razor blade.
Cutting his brother's hair with a razor blade after he got into trouble for cutting his hair.
Catching paper on fire in the kitchen garbage can with the child-proof lighter.
Eating all the strawberries, twenty yogurts, and two pounds of Twizzlers in one day.
Running around in public places.
Stomping his feet and growling when he doesn't get his way.
Messing up his brother's Spongebob drawings.
Refusing to wipe his butt.
Wiping his butt with the bathroom vanity drawer, bathroom wall, carpet on the stairs, and hallway closet door.

Don't ask me how that last one is even possible. Unless he's related to Beavis or Butthead, I don't think it is possible.

Today it was Running Around in Public Places, namely my favorite thrift store. I warned him, I bribed him, then finally I pulled out a Mrs. Baird's cherry cinnamon roll out of my purse while we were in the checkout lane and showed it to him. Then I said quite deviously, "I was going to give this to you (total lie), but you weren't listening to Mommy. Now you get nothing,"

And with that he fell on the floor and began growling at me.

Enter cashier next to me.

"Hey honey, that's what happens when you don't listen to your mom. You don't always get what you want,"

Me: "Did you hear that? See she says the same thing as me,"

Other lady going through another checkout lane: "Oh I so understand what you're going through. My daughter who is about the same age was telling me all about how she really wanted something and I just answered back 'yes, I understand' to her several times not really listening to what she was talking about. Finally, after the last time I said, 'yes, I understand' to her, she retorted: 'Well, if you understand, then why won't you get it for me?'"

Gotta love random store conversations, right?

How's this for random:

Later, sans the kids, I went to my favorite Walmart, the Grande Dame Walmart, for whipping cream and eggs. Of course, I left the store with not only the whipping cream and eggs, but also two bags of chocolate Easter discount candy, a set of plastic bowls, a set of plastic cups, and a $4 t-shirt. But before I checked out, this was the conversation I overheard between the man in front of me and the cashier who was a total stranger to him:

Man: "Hi ma'am...I'm getting my degree in accounting and finance and was wondering if you'd take a look at my resume and critique it for me."

Cashier: "Sure, I'd love to do that for you!"

Now I know I can get everything at Walmart--resume reviews, conversation starters, $4 shirts, and all.


Mahala said...

Maybe if you bribed him with Dr Pepper?

Leiah said...

Totally loving the Sesquicentennial glasses but sorry about the little one. When Katiebug was little if she ever misbehaved in a restaurant all I had to tell her was I would get them to come sing Happy Birthday to her. She would straighten up in a flash over that one...which still makes me giggle when I think about it. Any more great finds you'll be sharing with us?

DangGina said...

It's stories like this that terrify me about having children. Of course I want kids, but I know God's got a sense of humor, and I just KNOW I'll have at least one kid who makes me want to pull out my own hair...

As per the the WalMart conversation: what the WHAT? He asked her to go over his resume and critique it? Sorry, sir, but WalMart is an entry-level job; I wonder what the hell is going on in his mind. -And she actually agreed to read through it? What a strange sitch!

Foursons said...

Wow, how totally random to ask the cashier to read his resume.

And I know you are at your wits end with your son, but seriously from this side of the computer his antics are hilarious!

Wym said...

How random! who goes to Walmart for a resume review? Strange...

Paula said...

Oh yeah, I want a cashier to read my resume..NOT. That's too funny!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Mahala, oh you know, that may work...

Leiah, Now that is funny! My youngest would probably enjoy it too much though.

DangGina, I just hope he's not getting a job at my local bank.

Foursons, For real!

Wym, I!

Paula, I almost offered to review it for him, then thought it'd probably not be worth it.

mindy@thesuburbanlife said...

My three-year old is apparently dealing with some sort of possession. He does naughty things and then cries about how he "doesn't want to do those naughty things" after the fact. Must be hard being so conflicted. :)

Andi said...

I love random conversations...Especially in public with completely random strangers! Love, love, love it!

Also, I gotta admit, I'm so nosy that I totally would have been offering to help him with that resume. Because I'm so "helpful" and I gotta know what kind of job he's looking for that his Walmart checker is his critic!

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

I used to tell Trey I had to tell him a secret, then say very scary threats in his ear that only a mama could get away with. His eyes would get big and he would straighten up every time. When I saw him begin to act up, I would just say "Hey Trey, want me to tell you a secret?" Worked every time!

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

I used to work at Wal-mart, and you would be suprised how many people have good jobs and work there part-time.

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