Screwed Up Texan has moved!

You will be automatically redirected to the new address. If that does not occur, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Texas Pride and Pronunciation


The argument my husband and I had over the weekend began with him flippantly calling a sticker a burr. We were on our way to dump a load of tree limbs that we had just cut off our creepy neighbor's trees to allow more sunlight into our backyard. I know wanting more sunlight in one's yard sounds like a major mistake in North Texas come summertime, but you must understand that my creepy neighbor's trees are no normal trees. They're huge, their overgrown, they've never been pruned, and I hope to all that is Holy and Righteous in Heaven that their roots are screwing up my neighbor's foundation.

But yes, it's a sticker that grows out of those grassy weeds dear and not a burr.

That's when the argument really started getting out of control. Perhaps we were both a bit hot, sweaty and tired from working all day, but I felt the need to remind my husband of the following:

It's a flip flop and not a thong.
It's a seesaw and not a teeter totter.
It's a coke and not a pop or soda.
It's a crawdad, crawfish or mudbug and not a crayfish.
It's a locust and not a cicada.
It's a pecan and not a peecan.
It's a sticker and not a burr.

Then I calmed down. Until my husband exclaimed in exacerbation, "I hate y'all Texans! Y'all are all a bunch of proud people. I hate that about you! You think your Alamo is so great. You think you're better than anybody else. If all the other forty-nine states say it's one thing and y'all say it's another, then Texans must be wrong!"

Quickly, my five-year-old retorted from the backseat, "I'm a way too proud of Texas man!"

That's the way to tell him honey. I love that kid.

So we finished unloading the tree limbs, I took a few photographs of the first signs of spring, and we made our way to the Ghettomart (not to be confused with the Grande Dame Walmart). As we entered the store my husband looked back at me and kindly directed me to grab two shopping carts so we could fit our boys into them and grocery shop in peace.

They're buggies dude.

Hey, but at least I've got him saying y'all. One step at a time...


The Boob Nazi said...

I have a bunch of kids learning that "thongs" are flip flops in my elementary school speech class. It drives me crazy.

The Boob Nazi said...

Also, it's totally SODA and not coke. :)

Foursons said...

Hahaha- You are SOOOO right on every single one of these. Except I call them grocery carts. Love TX!

jmberrygirl said...

My name is Jennifer. I'm three weeks shy of 24 years old and have always wondered what the heck a cicada was. Thanks so much for clearing that up! ;)

We drink coke in Mississippi. But I the teeter totter was my favorite on the playground!

ForeverRhonda said...

I'm with you! On all of them and I'm not from Texas! Florida must have the same lingo! Although I think I go back and forth between seesaw and teeter totter...I think I use both terms. I hate people calling flip flops thongs though...thongs are a type of womens underwear!!!

Pixel Perfect said...

Hilarious!!!! I love this post!


Wendybob said...

Right on, Sista!

It's Coke. Period. Long ago and far away I (gasp) dated a guy from make it worse, he was actually a South Dakota native. He never could understand how I could be so addicted to Dr. Pepper, yet call it Coke. I think that's why the relationship failed. Seriously.

Another pet peeve of mine...because in my job I encounter a lot of people from Georgia and the south east **learn to pronounce X people!!!** This is not Tetses (that looks way too close to testes...) it is TEX-IS.

I could go on and on here...

Screwed Up Texan said...

Boob Nazi, You're just like my husband. PS: Thongs give your butt wedgies. Flip flops give your toes wedgies.

Foursons, I'll let it pass this time...:)

jmberrygirl, Funny! I think I was about your age when I finally figured it out!

Forever Rhonda, Funny because I always thought Florida was too full of Yankees to be considered the south. DUCKING!!

Pixel Perfect, Thanks!

Wendybob, Texas has balls? Tetses...

Robyn said...

Right on, my friend! You got every one of those point correct. How in the world did your husband NOT know these things?

Even other brands are still called Coke. That's just for those who just don't know -- not you. :)

Chris said...

I've never heard a cowboy get a sticker under his saddle... It's a burr! ;-)

Candance said...

The words "pop" and "soda" actually make me angry and I correct Max when he comes back from his dad's saying "soda". I don't even know why his dad is like that cause he's been in TX way longer than me cause he's way older than me.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Robyn, Hee hee, I like your thinking.

Chris, I must do an entire post about burrs vs stickers.

Candance, I get angry too! We must be related.

Wym said...

as a Georgia-Texan, I say:
cart (shopping)
and all ya'lls

Wym said...

And what about chanklas? (flippy-floppys)

Patty said...

People calling flip flops thongs has ALWAYS driven me insane! Nice to know someone else feels the same way ;)

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

I say peecahn, but pecan doesn't bother me. I really hate peecan! My boyfriend knows it and says it on purpose to make me mad! I also always say tennis shoes, while northerners say sneakers.

NitWit1 said...

Very funny. You should move to Baltimore like I did. I spent much time in translation from Texanese to Marylandese and back. And because Baltimore is huge and I worked as a relief pharmacist all over the area, I encountered many ethnic groups which took considerably more translation.

My husband is from SC so more translation.

If I had to choose one annoying word though it would be pecan with accent on the last syllable. I've heard pee 'can, pee'kins, pee'cans and innumerable variations.

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

Obviously I live in the middle of the country because I agree with about half of those. I grew up in Colorado though where Texans are tolerated only if they're dropping large wads of cash at the ski slopes.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Here here! - on the coke vs pop or soda.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Wym, Penn Belle, and Others: Pee Can is something my grandparents relieved themselves in.

Wym, I just looked Chanklas up.

Patty, I am so with you on that one.

NitWit1, I think my husband says Peecan just to annoy me.

Mindee, Well you do know that Colorado was once Texas.

Taylor, Ha!

Cindy said...

Too funny.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin