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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Fashion Flashbacks

Ever had fashion flashbacks while looking at old photographs of yourself? Ever wondered to yourself what the heck you were thinking when you had a particular photograph taken? Like what on God's Green Earth possessed you to wear that particular outfit or why in the world you styled your hair that way?

No, never? Me neither.

1.) How about my high school senior prom photo where I thought it'd be cool to wear fabric red roses in my hair and a white prom dress that I could remake into a wedding gown for when I went to Ricks College and got my MRS degree. For some reason I gave that dress away a couple months later.

2.) Yet there was also my senior portrait which looks nothing like me at all in which I decide it'd be stylish to flaunt my tan lines and bald spot on my scalp. Miraculously the hair grew back that very same evening.

3.) Or course, nothing beats the day of my graduation where I am almost caught picking my nose.

4.) Then there's the outfit that even Ellen herself would be proud to wear. The guy in the photograph with me is my date for a dance at Ricks College. He had a huge crush on me. I only went to the dance with him because no one else had asked me. Of course I feel mighty stupid about that now, because knowing my luck he's probably some rich technical engineer by now.

5.) Another good styling decision I made in college were these plaid shorts and my permed hair (which I faked out and told everyone was natural so they'd be jealous). That's me in the Great Salt Lake, which by the way smells like a fart. Like most farts, you get used to it after a while.

6.) Personally I think I'm rocking it in my red rimmed eyeglasses with rose tinted lenses and bleached hair that had been curled on a trip to Galveston when I was a twelve. You know I was picking up the guys. My mother in the background knew how to style it better than I did.

Lucky Number 7.) Of course nothing gets better than while we lived in Price, Utah and my husband worked for one of the local mortuaries as the on-call body picker-upper/deliverer when he brought me home this beautiful t-shirt with built-in shoulder pads that I wore on one of our very first family portraits taken at Walmart. Never mind how we all match, because later that same day I found out the shirt had belonged to a deceased old lady whose family didn't want the shirt she died in. My husband in his cheapwadness didn't see the point in throwing a perfectly good shirt away and so he gave it to me as a present. Needless to say, I never wore that shirt again. However, now I can't forget about that dead old lady every time I walk down the hallway.

Beat that.

For other fashionable photographs of me, check out my other blog post, Blast from the Past.


Anonymous said...

I almost spewed Dr Pepper through my nose reading about the dead lady's shirt. What was your husband thinking? Oh, the same thing most men do. They don't! LOL

Have a great, fashionable day. One day, we will look back on our current pictures and wonder what we were thinking also.

Vanessa said...

You lived in Price? I am so sorry. That is bad enough, but to have a dead woman's shirt on is even worse.

The Great Salt Lake is pretty stinky.

Perms are awesome.

Wym said...

Wow. You win! Sadly, I knew full well when I was a fashion disaster. Yet, I kept moving down fashion disaster road...and still do. Cheers!

Missy said...

I dated a guy once who bragged about buying me diamond earings for 20 bucks. They were on sale for 80% off. The diamonds were soooo tiny. He thought it was the greatest thing in the world and was so pround of his cheapwadness. I never thought a guy could beat that but your husband wins. EEEEW

DangGina said...

I'm laughing so hard at this, which is good; I needed a pick-me-up after me 8am client NO-SHOWED! Ugh!

My favorite is probably #6, because I thought the girl up front was you, and I was like, "Dude, that's a cute picture." Then I read the caption above and I was like, "Oh...THAT'S her. In the glasses with the afro and the flowery shirt and pink pants. Oh." (Don't hate! I can't help but say what I think!)

Also, I myself have touched the Great Salt Lake, and I concur, it smells like a fart. And it makes ones legs itch like CRAZY. Yuck.

I think your senior picture ain't bad, and nobody can blame you for the drapes they make you wear your senior year. Aren't they awful?!

I might copy you one day, and do a post like this one...once I find me a scanner.

Thanks for the laughs!

Jessica said...

I have a similar picture of me looking horrible on the ferry to Galveston. Let's blame it on the ferry, shall we?

Steph said...

Seriously.........I would have saved that shirt and then there would have been a funeral....for your husband.....! Holy....LOL. You are a saint! I'm going to tell my husband about this and see his reaction......I'd probably think he was just being practical!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Emily, Steph, Missy, Wym, and Vanessa, I have no idea what my husband was thinking. I asked him once and he said that he didnt see anything wrong with the shirt even if it came off a dead person. He said he washed it so I didnt need to worry. I still get the heebyjebbies every time I think of that shirt.

Steph, please notify me at once when your husband tells you what he thinks.

DangGina, I was a hot babe wasn't I?

Jessica, thank you for the warning to all would-be-photographers on the ferry to Galveston: DO NOT TAKE PHOTOS or else you WILL regret it.

ForeverRhonda said...

I think I am going to do a similiar post, I have some doozies of outfits. I didn't think your Senior picture was bad at all, it's not like you get to pick your outfit in that one!! And man, I almost spit my coffee out when I read that you wore a shirt an old lady died in, not only wore it but it is immortalized in a family portrait. I needed the laugh though!!

FluffyChicky said...

At least he washed the shirt before he gave it to you. See, he is thoughtful (and cheap).

Now I know why I don't let my husband "buy" me clothes...I wouldn't put it past him to do the same thing.

And I love the perm. Total awesomeness.

And I had really cool blue plastic rimmed glasses when I was 12! I thought I was a total fashion genius.

Jennifer said...

Hm, I doubt I could ever beat your flashback... I'm not really broken-hearted about that either, ahahahah.

Of course, middle school and half of high school was definitely a bad time for me and clothes...

But I'm not brave enough to post any of it.

Foursons said...

Oh my gosh. Are you serious? You wore a dead lady's shirt? Oh no- that's so bad I can't even fake laugh.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Forever Rhonda, Oh yes! I'd love to see everyone else's fashion flashbacks. I have plenty more where these came from!

Fluffy Chicky, Oh I want to see the fashion genius blue rimmed eyeglasses!

Jennifer, I think my fashion sense pretty much went downhill since fifth grade. Gotta love it.

Foursons, Dead Serious. Get it?

mindy@thesuburbanlife said...

Looking through old pictures recently I found a family portrait taken when I was about ten. It was a beautiful picture except for the fact that I couldn't tell the difference between me and my twin brother. Keep in mind, we are fraternal boy/girl twins. It shouldn't be hard to find the female. Short hair did me no justice. Enough said. =)

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

Your husband owes you a shirt. A really nice one!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

awesome pictures! love the permed hair

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

Bless you! I loved these pics! I think u were cute as a button in every one of them!

Becky said...

Love the perm. And I certainly concur on the Great Salt Lake - awful! My hubby says when he was a kid you could easily float on it. However, when we went (in about 1987) you could not and it was so nasty!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Mindy, I so want to see that photo!

Mindee, Yes he does.

Taylor-Made Wife, I knew it looked sohweet.

Penn Belle, I want whatever you're smoking.

Becky, If the Great Salt Lake had a whirlpool, we'd all be turds that wouldnt flush.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I knew a girl in college who wore her high school prom dress as her wedding dress. It was bad. So very, very bad. It had puffy sleeves and beading and this was the late '90's.

Also, Utah Lake is WAY worse than the Great Salt Lake. I went there once and will never go again. I put my foot in the water (off the side of the boat)ankle deep and couldn't see my foot anymore. At all. Gross.

Helene said...

Oh. My. God. Tell me he didn't really give you the shirt off some poor dead woman's back??!! I don't think I could top that if I tried...although I do have to say that it is a very lovely family portrait!!!

Sammy Nams said...

ROFL! My god so entertaining. I love this post. My fashion flashback confession? Wearing white socks with sandals for years. LOL

Kimberly said...

#7, is that really true? If so, I would have traded in my husband a long time ago - maybe one from a dead wife who could no longer use him.

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