Screwed Up Texan has moved!

You will be automatically redirected to the new address. If that does not occur, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Don't Mess with Texas

Alamo by Gaylord Stevens, 1975

Yesterday, was Texas Independence Day. On March 2nd, 1836 Texas declared it's independence from Mexico. Just four days later, the Alamo fell and around 190 men lost their lives--beat by an army of  2,400 Mexicans led by General Santa Anna. Included in the casualties were James Bowie (pronounced BOO-e), William Travis, and Davy Crockett.

Which instantly reminds me of the tribute to Pancho Villa song:

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
Ya no peude caminar,
Porque le falta
Porque no tiene
Marijuana que fumar!

or in other words...

The Cockroach, the cockroach,
He can't walk anymore,
Because he lacks
Because he doesn't have
Marijuana to smoke!

Which doesn't have a whole lot to do with Texas or even the Alamo, but when I think of music from my neighbor down south, that song instantly comes to mind. That and the Tejano music my Mexican neighbors in my old neighborhood would play at 7 o'clock on a Saturday morning.

I may or may not be a proud Texan

I may or may not have annoyed my roommates in college

In any case, I am proud to be Texan. I am also proud to be American, but there's still no place like Texas. I mean, where else, but Texas, would I be able to recite by heart countless Texas trivia all in the name of several elementary school teachers that pounded it into my brain:

1.) State Bird - Mockingbird
2.) State Flower - Bluebonnet
3.) State Tree - Pecan
4.) State Mammal - Armadillo
5.) State Reptile - Horny Toad
6.) State Insect - Monarch Butterfly
7.) State Fish - Guadalupe Bass
8.) State Drink - Dr Pepper
9.) State Gem - Blue Topaz
10.) State Freak that also ran for governor and agriculture commissioner - Kinky Friedman

Quotable Kinky Quotes (but I wouldn't recommend it):

"I don't remember the first half of my life. All I have to say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life."

"I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough."

"Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive."

"I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you." 

"I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us." 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." 

And with that, I leave you with this:

Texas isn't just a state, but it is also a state of mind.

PS: Lonestar is the State Beer of Texas. Because I felt the need to set that straight.

PPS: A cockroach can live for weeks without it's head. After that it starves to death. 


FluffyChicky said...

I think Kinky Friedman is my new favorite person.

Mahala said...

Rumor has it that my great grand daddy went down to Texas to fetch himself an "Injin woman," who later became my great grandma. I've never been there, but I still have kinfolk in Tyler that I hear from once in a while :)

FluffyChicky said...

Oh I just remembered that my great, great grandfather was a Texan. He had to flee the state at one point for cattle rustling, but that is besides the point.

So I am Texan too!

Maybe that is why I like Kinky? :)

DangGina said...

Now...this might just come out wrong, but here goes (because I believe in honesty): the only people who are as proud as Texans are Canadians. I remember every Texan and Canadian apartment I visited in college, because they all proudly displayed their flags on the wall. -Just an observation, that's all.

Umm, I loved the beer commercial. A lot. Those Budweiser tribute commercials are always stellar.

Goooooo Texas!

Michelle Hoad said...

I am mortified and ashamed that I didn't remember yesterday was Texas independence day. I would have made a cake or something. Maybe even my favorite Dr. Pepper cake.

DangGina said...

Also, my brother served his mission in Texas and proudly displays the Lonestar flag on his bedroom wall. Nuttin' wrong with it. :)

MissBrightside said...

My uncle, like me, is from Alabama. He moved to TEXAS as a young man and his car always had the bumper sticker " I wasn't born in TEXAS but I got here as fast as I could!" I always thought that was a riot.

Leiah said...

My favorite Kinky Friedman song? Well, I guess it's a tie between "They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore" and "Get Your Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns In The Bed".

Leiah said...

Oh and I forgot to mention that I notarized every petition from Orange and Jefferson Counties to get him on the ballot during his run for governor. A fact I'm mighty proud of. I still wear my "Kinky Independence" shirt and had it on just last week in fact.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Fluffy Chicky, That's the Texas spirit!

Mahala, Oh that has to be a good story!

DangGina, Just wait til you go down and see all the rebel Confederate flags...where in Texas did your brother serve?

Michelle, Shame shame! But I know what I'm making today.

Miss Brightside, I love that bumper sticker! I have several Don't Mess with Texas bumper stickers that also say "Keep Your Butts in the Car" (cigarette butts). I should give those out.

Leiah, Dear Goodness! Those titles alone are funny!

Wendybob said...

My great great grandaddy something-or other was the last sheriff to LEGALLY hang a man in Texas (Dallas county).

You know how WalMart used to carry the complete Texas flag bathroom set? I always wondered if other states got their own bathroom set...but it's just hard to picture the New Mexico flag as a shower curtain.

Lonestar Light is the best beer ever, closely followed by Shiner Bock.

GTT! Remember the Alamo! Come and Take it!

I am so proud to be a Texan...and I love Kinky, even if I don't always agree with him. His music's not bad, either!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

I'm so proud to be a Texan!! I even have a tattoo with the Texas flag in it. But like you,, I'm just as proud to be an American. Davy.Davy Crockett...

DangGina said...

I've been meaning to make my way down there, honestly.

Goose served in the Dallas, Spanish-speaking mish. And loved every minute of it. He actually met Emmitt Smith on his mission; totally got his picture taken with him and had us plaster said picture all over our house. (Mostly because Goose is 6'7" and towered over Emmitt:)

Screwed Up Texan said...

Wendybob, I can almost bet Alabama had their own bath set. I swear I've seen that confederate flag as living room window decor at least. Although I am not sure they'd sell it at Walmart.

Taylor-Made Wife, I WANT to see that tat!

DangGina, Post those pics please! I've love to see your bro with Emmit!

Luke Family said...

I am a "Way-too-proud-of-Texas" gal. I lived my first 25 years of life there, but have lived in Memphis and now in MS. I loved this blog entry. I, too, know all those little facts, and to this day I always remember the Alamo on March 6th. Cute video. I hope to get back to the great Lone Star State one day. "You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl!"

Julie K. said...

Is Dr. Pepper seriously your state drink? That's awesome. I'm kind of jealous. But I'm from Oklahoma, I'm kind of obligated to think I'm better than you. That's just how it works. I'm sure, as a Texan, you can understand.

NitWit1 said...

I was crusin' right along on all the Texas data, YEAh sure, I remember that.

But headless cockroach postscript was a downer. I hate cockroaches.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

um, dude,
I am pretty sure that in the picture of you holding the Texas State Flag,


You, young lady, are messin with the Texas Flag. hee hee

Screwed Up Texan said...

Luke, Here's another one for you, "When I die, I'm going to Texas."

Julie, Yes! Dr Pepper is our state drink. You know why Texas doesn't fall into the Gulf of Mexico? Because Oklahoma sucks so bad.

NitWit1, I hate cockroaches too...although living here in Texas I'm sure not afraid of them.

Texan Mamma, OMGOOOOOOOOSH! You are RIGHT! I should be hung.

What's funny is that I once called an apartment complex for the same thing. Surprised I didn't notice this one.

Victor | UPrinting said...

I never had the chance to visit Texas but it seems that there are lot of culture there. The picture by Mr. Gaylord Stevens was amazing, I am just fascinated by historical pictures.

Helene said...

Dang, girl, you make Texas proud!! I couldn't even tell you the flower of California!!

I love the Texas map drawing that you hung in your room at college!!

Oh and the PPPS - eewwwww!!!

Sammy Nams said...

Lolz, Loved the quote:

"Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive."

Cindy said...

Native Texan and proud of it myself! I believe Texas is the only state that requires Texas History be taught in school. We have a rich history full of interesting characters. I feel sorry for people living in Texas who weren't born here, but I'm sure they got here as fast as they could.

Paula said...

5th Gen Texan checking in. My hubs was born in (sadly) FL, we've been married almost 18 yrs, and he still doesn't get the Texan thing. I collect Texas music - do you think any other state has as many song written about it? I probably have at least 60 songs in iTunes. When fellow Texans who have to live in other state have Texas parties (and yes they do) I make CD's of the Texas music for them to play at the party and give for door prizes. Did you know Asleep at the Wheel did an entire album dedicated to the Alamo?

I have a couple of Texas posts on my blog:

Texas Forever!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Victor, You bet there is. To read just how proud we are, go read the arguments...on that Youtube video. Yikes.

SammyNams, It's my excuse straight from a politician's mouth.

Cindy, I took both OK and IN history classes (dont know if they were required), and this much I can say is that they were not as interesting as Texas History.

Paula, I WANT one of those cds!

Tess said...

I miss Texas! Thank you for this snapshot of home! One of these days I WILL return!!!

KMDuff said...

Every state requires state history, but most states don't have as much fun as Texas! Love the Texas Independance Day! Love living in TX. don't like Dr. pepper that much. ;)

Pedaling said...

came across your blog a while ago- when you posted your mormon post-
anyway, we lived in texas for a bit-
san angelo - yes, commonly referred to as the arm-pit of the state...
we loved it though- the people are kind and yes PROUD of their state- it was a hoot.
it was refreshing!
my oldest went to school there and we thought the state pride was entertainingly funny, in a good way!
though i live in utah- i heart texas!

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
gotta love that!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin