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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Out of Context Morons


I absolutely hate it when others take my thoughts and words out of context. I loathe it almost as much as I'm repelled by dried yellow urine on the bottom of the commode. I'm as uncomfortable with it almost as much as having to go number two in a public restroom. I despise it just as much as I detest the taste of liver, no matter how it's cooked or what fancy name it's called.

Liver by any other name would taste just as disgusting.

That's exactly what I think about those that take and twist my words. Chopped liver. The body's oil filter. 

As most of you know, but probably would have never guessed, I am a Mormon. Not a moron, but a Mormon. Sometimes it's hard being a Mormon, because of the way an occasional few who don't share my beliefs can sometimes react to my religious choice. It seems like more often than not in the conversations I have with others that the topic turns to religion. Partly, it's because I live in the westernmost half of the Bible Belt--you know where Mormon is whispered like it's a curse word. I don't care much for talking about religion. Mostly, I think I dislike it so much because my twin brother is Baptist and every time religion is brought up and I'm in the room, he reminds me that I am going to hell. There was also that other time I visited a museum in the Hill Country and was having a very pleasant discussion about Comanches beheading children when my tour guide asked me what religion I belong to. As soon as I uttered the dreaded word--Mormon--she quite promptly did a literal one-eighty and walked off as fast as she could like I was going to give her heebeejeebees. 

People. If I am going to hell, believe me it has nothing to do with my choice of worship. It probably has more to do with my passive aggressiveness.

Yesterday it was brought to my attention that The Blog that Shall Not Be Named featured one of my comments on their sidebar. You know, like Roger and Ebert. Basically, the blog is about Mormon male morons living together writing about their misadventures with women and life. They're chauvinistic and pathetic. Normally, I'd give you the blog name and link, but that blog which is the absolute antithesis of genteel and uplifting needs no more links or mentions to gain them more SEO or Google PageRank authority. In other words, they're losers and they ought to stay that way.

My featured comment taken out of context: 


The context, aka what they said that made me get all nasty with them. I may or may not have had high doses of caffeine running through my system at the time: 


My comment in it's entirety (whoops, I said the A word):


I still mean it. That's what I'm talking about when I say passive aggressive.

With that, I'd like to leave the guys in the moron boy pad one last final gesture:


The Utah Bird. Because we Mormons are exhorted to create. Even if that's not what President Uchtdorf meant. 


PS: I think President Uchtdorf sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Just sayin'. 



PPS: When I say we Mormons are exhorted to create, I don't mean make a gazillion babies. Unless that's your thing. I have one word for you: Duggars.

22 Comments:

jmberrygirl said...

Is it sad that I'm actually amused by this? I cannot believe that there are men who want ten children. I have trouble believing that a man would really wish to impose his own archaic belief system (the non-career, not his religeous beliefs) on a poor, unsuspecting college student! While I wouldn't wish permenant disability on him, I think perpetual bachelorhood would be most appropriate. Kudos for putting your name on the comment. Most people wouldn't have. It's easy to be brutally honest when your annonymous. Far less so when your name/blog is there. =) Rest assured, you are not the only person who suffers from the "fear" associated with a denomination/creed/religeon/lack thereof.

jmberrygirl said...

Should have said "when your comment is annonymous." Grrr.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

That is so frusterating. I have run across this said blog. It made me thankful I ended up with the man I did. P.S. I'm Catholic and while I know a little about your religion, I would really love to know more if you ever feeling like blogging about it.

Melessa said...

Being Mormon isn't even on the top ten list of reasons I'm most likely going to hell. ;)

Julie K. said...

Your comment made me giggle out loud a little. I didn't even think the misquoted version was so off the mark. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. I'm Nazarene, are we going to the same hell?

Wym said...

While I can see merit in the value of staying home with children, it should NEVER be a prerequisite to marriage. Pigs...

DangGina said...

Oh boy. I think I'm glad I've never come across the blog of which you speak. Stupid, stupid man! It's creeps like him that give Mormons a bad name, really...

Also, we don't claim the Duggars, do we? I swear they're not Mormon...

PS I totally laughed at your comment. Both in context and out. See you in hell, I suppose...

FluffyChicky said...

I'm pretty sure I am going to hell...spouting off possible false doctrine when you are teaching Gospel Doctrine gets you a ticket to Hell...and calling the prophet a freakin' idiot in class gets you a front row seat. I'll save you a spot, OK? :)

FluffyChicky said...

Oh, and those "men" are unbelievable. I hope that guy gets hit by a bus.

Foursons said...

Wow- how I love watching a train wreck. Fascinating stuff it is.

Lars said...

OH.MY.WORD. It was well worth waiting for this morning. Number five dropped my jaw but number six on that list made me nearly choke. I closed out of that blog right after or else I would have seen your original comment prior to censorship.

Screwed Up Texan said...

jmberrygirl, wishing permanent disability was probably going too far. I figure if I'm going to say something, I better at least own up to it.

Taylor-Made Wife, Aren't they disgusting? They are an embarrassment.

Melessa, I want to hear the top ten! lol

Julie, Depends on whose version of hell.

Wym, I totally agree.

DangGina, Yes! It's boys (I refuse to call them men) like this that give the rest of us men. Sometimes I wonder if they're even real. Oh, and the Duggars are Independent Baptists.

Fluffy Chicky, Oh! I want to attend your Sunday School meetings!

Foursons, Oh yes it is...

Lars, He he, thanks for bringing it to my attention though.

Shana Banana said...

I'm proud that you left it with your name...You aren't skeered:) I admit I don't know much about your religion but I will never understnad why we can't all be friends anyways:)

Jennifer said...

The Duggars reference gave me a good giggle.

I'm Southern Baptist, and from the LITTLE I know about Mormons, I would never treat them [or you, of course] like lepers just because of it.

Baptists are nasty people, too.
Tis why, I am traditionally Southern Baptist, but I attend a non-denominational church.

Just a general rule, I would never be presumptuous enough to assume I knew who was going to Hell and who wasn't.

In reality, we never truly know.
It's all interpretation, really...

Screwed Up Texan said...

Shana! I love seeing your comments here--glad we're friends.

Jennifer, I'm glad you commented. I certainly dont think all Baptists think Mormons are going to hell, and certainly Mormons have their fair share of faults as well. I'm with Shana, let's all just get along and be friends. Although then again it is funny to me when I tease my non-LDS friends and tell them I have horns that come out at night.

Vanessa said...

Don't know how you found me, but I'm glad you did.

We can go to hell together and do it Passive Aggressively.

Those MBP guys cause quite a stir. It makes me laugh. Your comment was funny.

And is it sacreligious that I have a crush on Pres. U?

Candance said...

We did both mention the Duggars!!

Is the guy with the blog that he apparently writes using a chisel and stone in his cave where he also gnaws his dinner directly off the bone and plays fetch with his dinosaur serious? Right now, I want to kick him in his delicate man areas and greatly decrease his odds for reproducing. Seriously.

Helene said...

It's probably a good thing I've never read the blog you've mentioned. But it took a lot of nerve for them to only post some of your comment. Obviously, they wanted to post whatever would get more drama.

My MIL takes my words out of context all the time. It sucks big time.

thanks for stopping by my blog...hope you'll be back again soon.

K. Erickson said...

I toast you with Dr Pepper (or, at least, I would if I had any in the house at the moment) for your attack on the foolish man/boys.

I don't know much about Mormonism (having only seen the Book of Mormon once and was too tired to read past the first page), but I do believe in a merciful God who does not play favorites. Oh, and next time your twin brother says you're goin' to Hell, remind him there are infinitely more Baptist jokes than there are Mormon jokes.

As for the Mormon bachelor morons, they fail to realize that a marriage is a partnership not a master/slave relationship. The Bible says so.

Screwed Up Texan said...

K Erickson, You got too tired after reading the first page of Nephi out of the Book of Mormon?! Don't feel alone...most of us Mormons do too. In fact, I think I've read the first chapter at least ten times in a row. Just keepin' it real.

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

Have you noticed that when you identify as Christian, people always want to point out your flaws? Why does she do this or that..I thought she was a Christian. I hate that. I said I was Christian, not a radical Christian. God knows I have bad language now and then and everything else I do and I believe he loves me anyway. I am glad you said what you said to them.

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

Why have I never seen the Mormon bird...I must be a really bad Utah Mormon! LOL.

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