Thursday, February 25, 2010
For the longest time I used to brag that I had never gotten a ticket while driving. I used to boast how I could talk my way out of tickets like that one time I got pulled over in Moab, Utah for running a red light. I also wasn't carrying insurance because it has just expired and I didn't see the reason in getting another policy when I was getting married in less than a week anyway. Needless to say, the cop gave me the biggest lecture of my life and then sent me on my way. He also called me a "crappy driver" right in front of my fiance. What the officer didn't know was that I had been driving fifteen hours straight that day, was tired, and that his comment on my driving skills would be my husband's excuse to make fun of my driving for the next ten years.
The Hubs: "You're a crappy driver. Even that cop thought so."
Me: "Yah, well how many tickets have you gotten dear? Remember that one time I talked that one cop out of giving you a ticket when we were coming back from Duchesne, Utah? I do. Remember, I told him we were arguing and that's why you were driving in the passing lane. I also remember quite vividly how I talked that highway patrolman in Colorado out of giving you a ticket when you drove backwards on the shoulder of Interstate 70 by telling him your cap flew out the window and you just wanted to pick it up. Thank God there was a cap a few hundred feet down the road when that cop made me get out of our van and retrieve it to prove you weren't lying. Lucky dog. At least I have never gotten a ticket before!"
And then one day as I was driving to the bank to make one of the last payments on our truck, I saw flashing blue lights behind me. I got not only pulled over, but also ticketed for going ten over in a school zone. So what if school had already started and I was on my way out of said school zone and there were only two minutes left in said school zone. I had jinxed myself.
But at least I had never been in a wreck!
(Me running over a stop sign because my gas pedal stuck, me running into a garage door and slightly damaging it, and me hitting my own mailbox all do not count. Because no one saw me do it.)
Until Monday...when I was minding my own business in a parking lot driving past a bank when a lady pulled out from the drive by teller area and hit the side of my van while I was on the way to find out how much money it was going to cost to fix my fancy camera lens.
Monday was not my day. I had again jinxed myself.
I think it's time I quit bragging about never being involved in stress-inducing matters. In fact, if Karma has it's way, then I'll be speaking publicly in church very soon. Now that would be disastrous. Or very funny. I'll let you decide. But hey, at least I can't get ticketed at church! At least I don't think I can.
Knock on wood.
What I'm Talkin' About: Just Keepin' It Real