Joy and I have known each other for a long time. Since college in fact and I really hadn't realized just how long of a long time that's been until I started counting back the years yesterday. Dang those years go by fast. Too fast.
In a lot of ways Joy and I are alike. In a lot of ways we're different. We've lived different lives, yet we have a common bond. We both despised one of our roommates at the same time. We both had a crush on the same guy at the same time. We both made a campfire on the side of a country road one time together and roasted Starbursts with some friends. We both had a close encounter with the Boogie Man (a real live guy at church) one dark night in 1999 under a full moon in Rexburg, Idaho. We both met another guy in that same town that swore Jesus Christ was a living Aboriginal in Australia that I French kissed and then dumped after church the very next day. Or something like that.
Best of all: We both call each other Pioja.
Pioja means louse (i.e. lice) or flea. As in: Hola Pioja! Adios Piojos! --so we like to rhyme.
It's how we tell each other we're still best friends.
Every so often Joy sends me letters, cards, and packages in the mail. I'm a loser friend, because I never send her anything back. Monday, one of those surprise packages was resting in my mailbox when my husband got home from work.
The note reads:
CAUTION: May contain offensive material! (Well what are you waiting for? Open it already!) :)
This woman knows me all too well.
Ah ha! It's the book Girl Talk: Telling It Like It Is!
I opened it, and immediately began to laugh at excerpts such as these:
Then my husband grabbed my new book from me and began to read it. You know it's got to be good when even he laughs. Which is surprising especially since this is a book basically talking trash about men and gossiping. Really, I think my husband just likes Pioja more than me because if I had bought this book he'd be complaining.
Either that or he just likes the photographs of sexy vintage pinup chicks.
My guess is the latter.
On a related note I thought I should mention that it took me more time than I would like to admit finding this book online so I could show y'all where to find it. Apparently, Hallmark licenses it which was printed in 2006 for a limited time. By the way, when I searched Google for "Amazon Girl Talk Book" the first result I got was for a Klingon Battle Cruiser 2009 Hallmark Ornament. There are some serious issues with that search algorithm. However, I made it easy for you to find Girl Talk: Telling It Like It Is by searching Amazon manually...
Post Script: This book is going in my bathroom to read during one of those moments that I really just need a laugh. Not that I feel that way often in the bathroom. Well, except when I realize it needs cleaning.