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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Quest to Become Fast Friends with the Devil

Oftentimes, I wonder if people think I complain too much about my children. What I think they don't realize is that my "complaining" is actually me bragging about my kids.

I have the worst kids on the planet and I am dang proud of it! 

Yes, I love my children. No, I would never do it again--that is why my husband got snipped. You parents that looked forward to your children waking up every two hours in the middle of the night are really nuts I think. Then again, I can't really complain too much about that either since my husband took care of all the late night/early morning feedings while I pretended to be asleep.

Oh how it felt joyous to lay still on my side of the bed and hear the kids crying for..."Da Da Da Da!" It still brings a smile to my face.

I think we all have our own way of doing things--of being a parent. I think there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think being different is what makes us uniquely fantastic as parents. I don't know what I would have done without my husband those nights he got up to take care of the children. Well, okay, I'd probably be insane right now.

Being a parent is exhausting. It takes a certain level of selflessness and patience to be a good parent. However, in those moments of pure exasperation when you think your world is coming to an end (you know, the kid just had the Hershey Squirts in the bathtub even though he's four and you were supposed to leave ten minutes ago), your child looks at you in the most innocent and loving way or says something so off the wall that your heart is instantly softened. 

My kids usually go for saying the darnedest thing route.

That's right--sometimes my kids say the darnedest things. Well, that whole "sometimes" thing is thrown out at my house, because all three of mine say things that put a bewildered expression on my face on an almost daily occurrence. For instance, my oldest who is in Speech at school has the daily task of making up sentences at school and then putting them together onto paper at home so he can learn sentence structure. Some of the sentences have been rather innocuous such as:

"I see the fire truck and the ambulance" and "I am going to eat ice cream."

Other sentences have been right near senseless like:

"I see a horse and a car and a big little mower." I mean, what the heck is that?

Other sentences evil:

"The girl got baked in a cake" and "I was at home and my brothers were at the dump."

Once, he even tattled on his brothers:

"My brothers stealed Daddy's money."

When my kid brings home sentences like this one, I wonder if my son's teacher thinks my husband and I fight a lot:

"I see the mower and daddy leaved."

You'd think they'd at least instruct him on proper grammar.

But the worst thing my oldest son said was last night as we were all in a frenzy preparing for went, "Did you ever have a feeling you didn't want something? I do. It's my brothers. I want to get rid of them." To which I had to stop and laugh hysterically at and am now probably going to hell for not taking my son's feelings seriously.

Oh well.

I think I pretty much sealed the deal to becoming fast friends with the devil when I laughed for over an hour at this lady last night:

(Feed readers may need to click this link to see video.)

Oh heck, I am still laughing at her.


Trac~ said...

TOO FUNNY! Love the things kids say - especially about getting rid of their brothers! LOL Will have to check out the video when I get home - can't see it here at work. :o)

Queen of Quite A Lot said...

if you get there before I do, save me a seat!

Mindee said...

If we couldn't laugh, we'd lose our minds.

Rena--Museum Educator said... I'm laughing at the grape lady too. But I'm all dead consider the source... :) :) :)

Karen said...

Could you imagine our kids together in the same house? ..........

You and I would need straight jackets. Seriously...I love the things kids say. It makes it all worth it.

Nancy said...

Thanks for the nice comments on my blog today. I still lurk on yours every few days but have become more of a comment slacker. I didn't even have to click on that grape video before I started laughing my head off (I'd seen it before and just remembering made me laugh laugh). I loved the line about the girl baked in a cake, and you wondering if your son's sentences are telling your teacher's too much reminded me of a time tending my niece when she said, "Let's play house. I'll be mommy and you be daddy and pretend like I'm mad because you are going to play basketball again." Funny. Lastly, your husband is a ROCK STAR for getting up with your babies. WHAAT?

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