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Friday, August 14, 2009

Take a Hint


If you've read my blog at all over the last week, then you know I have been in a really strange mood. My thought filter has been broken, I've been overly-gluttonous, and I've been laughing like a maniac over the strangest things. If y'all knew what's been going through my mind the last several days, you'd only come to one conclusion: It must be the week before her twenty-eight days. 

Yes women, you know what I mean. Never admit personal blame.

I think it all started when Miss Dallas asked me where the post was about she and I meeting each other at the WIRED! zip-line course. I immediately thought about a photograph I had doctored late one night while still high on Dr Pepper. Late nights do something weird to me. As I searched my photo files on my computer for the doctored picture I laughed with late night induced intoxication while my husband told me to keep my volume down with my cacklous outbursts.


Have you ever heard me laugh? I sound like a chimp--really.

Several times on Twitter I had to make myself get up and leave the room. This usually happened at night and only happened because I had to try to save myself from myself. Do you know how hard that is? The funniest moment was when Jenny from The Bloggess got blocked by William Shatner. I don't know why, but for some reason I thought the block was so hilarious that I actually made a new group on TweetDeck just so I could follow the ordeal. Then I asked The Shat if he'd block me too so I'd be cool like Jenny. I also got fashion advice for what to wear while driving a Camaro and admitted my newest obsession to the Miley Cyrus clothing line at Walmart (except those stirrup pants have got to go).

'Cause thirty is the new thirteen or sixteen you know.


Then last night at a women's group at church I really went over the edge. As a group of us sat around the beautifully decorated dinner tables and learned more about each other, someone dropped several golden chocolate coins in front of us. I grabbed a handful and began munching on them only feeling slightly guilty for gluttony. We talked amongst ourselves on several topics ranging from education to parenting to fellowship of our fellow sisters. In my church we have a program called Visiting Teaching where the women regularly visit other women once a month during the week for fellowshipping and service. There are certain guidelines that are supposed to be followed such as dressing neatly, sharing a message, and praying with the visited if they desire. So, someone at last night's dinner had the bright idea of putting us in a circle and having us answer questions concerning Visiting Teaching:

Group leader: "So, what should you do if you arrive at a sister's home to visit her at a scheduled time and she isn't there?"

My answer: "Take a hint."

Yep, they're definitely kicking me out now.

15 Comments:

jmberrygirl said...

Hilarious! I love it! And I really, really needed the laugh!

DangGina said...

Ain't that the truth, though? What else are you supposed to think when you've scheduled a time and the lady isn't there?

I'm gonna get struck down; I'm the VT coordinator in my branch, so let's pretend I didn't just say that...

Chef E said...

I have a feeling we would get into trouble together. I have in many situations started laughing with someone and heard many Shhhh's in the background...too cute in that car! You could sell quite a few!

Love the 'Take A Hint'...

Auntie Em said...

Oh my Gosh! That's hilarious! I love it! Take a hint... seriously! You and I should be best friends. I made some seriously get you kicked out moments lately ... In FRONT of the bishopric... yeah...

LeAnn said...

And that same type of behavior is why I no longer participate in visitation night at my church. :p

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

You're not pregnant are you??

Michele said...

That is too hilarious about VT...you seriously gave me a laugh that I needed this morning!

Heather said...

very funny as always ..lol

Screwed Up Texan said...

jmberrygirl, Glad I could help ;)

DangGina, For real!

Chef E, GM should let me drive that baby around. Just the fact that I'm in it would sell it (at least that's what I like to think).

Auntie Em, We should hang out...or wait. We should hang out...anywhere but church. lol

LeAnn, See that is why I am getting kicked out.

Mindee, Not unless it's a miracle. Ha!

Michele, Glad I could help with the laugh.

Heather, Anytime sister.

Stacey said...

Sounds like you have had a fun week. We all need that sometimes!

the nightingale said...

Love it, love it!!! :D I need to wipe my eyes now.... :D

Candance said...

Dude, that is totally freaking awesome!! I couldn't be more proud if I birthed you myownself!

I am so disappointed I'm not with you guys tonight. Twitter only gave me 140 words, so I couldn't say the whole entire ordeal which is that Grace's friend that she was supposed to spend the night with got grounded, as 12 year old girls often do and she had to bail, and Grace hates to be here without me, so I had to bail on y'all. I took her to the movies, though, so I guess it all turned out because we got some much needed alone time.

NitWit1 said...

Great comeback....love it. Sometimes the religious events need to get a grip on humor.

You should visit my site today about Nocturnal Visitations Where I severely misappropriate Scripture to suit my story, but I also acknowledge its rightful interpretation

I might have told your circle: GO HOME <;~)>

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You're so cool you don't even *need* to get blocked by Shatner. That's a good thing.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Stacey, One of the funnest weeks all summer!

the nightingale, Sending you virtual tissues now.

Candance, Next time girl! We can always spend anytime together. How about a trip to TopLine?

NitWit1, I dont think anyone but the blogging world gets my sense of humor.

Jenny, the Bloggess, It is *your* fault I will now be on a virtual high all week. Thanks for sending me the virtual shrooms.

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