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Friday, August 28, 2009

I'm Not a Witch - I'm Your Wife!

So, for the last two years that we've lived in our current home I have pleaded with my husband to trim our twelve foot bushes to a more manageable size. I've never liked these overgrown shrubs in my back yard, yet somehow no convincing in the world could get my husband to prune them.

Usually when The Hubs lets items on his Honey-Do List go forgotten, I can easily remind him how much easier and cheaper it is to do these things himself. Once when the kids flushed the Hippie Bus from Cars down the toilet and plugged it up I begged my husband for four weeks to unstop the commode. As you can imagine, no one dared use that toilet as the stench was far more than any of us could bare. One day I had enough and called a plumber. When my husband came home that afternoon I told him what I had done and being the cheap man he is immediately took the toilet off the floor and pulled that stinky Hippie out of the flange in the front yard. A wax ring and $1.50 later the toilet was fixed.

Fast forward to today...

For the last five weeks or so in a row two men have knocked on my door wanting to know if they can cut my grass. Being the cheap person I am I keep telling them, "No, my husband has a side business doing yard work and so he can do it when he gets home," which is the complete truth. These two men don't speak a lick of English, so they probably thought I was telling them to come back the next week--which they did.

Thursday, these two men came to my home on schedule and this time I paused and asked them how much they charged for trimming bushes. Since these two men had no idea what I was saying, I had to take them to the back yard where I showed them the bushes and tried to explain to them in English how low I wanted the bushes trimmed. They gave me a price, they trimmed the bushes, and I paid them. Nothing simpler than that.

Then I waited to see how long it would take before The Hubs would notice.

He just better thank me later that I understand some Spanish and therefor knew what the lowest price these two dudes would take.

Oh wait--let's just let him think I trimmed the bushes and bundled them so professional-like.

Hey, I ain't gonna be the one to break the truth to him. Cheapwad.


Auntie Em said...

Alas, if you want something done right do NOT count on a family member to do it.

Mr Spooky said...


Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

I actually heard a marriage counselor give that advice once. "If your husband won't get to the chore, hire someone to do it. Nagging over."

See how smart you are?

Down Pillow said...

This little story was just too too funny!

Kristi said...

Hee hee! Too funny!

LL said...


That's the way to solve the problem without argument.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Aunti Em, I am beginning to see the truth in that there statement. lol

Mr Spooky, I KNEW you'd get a crack out of it!

Mindee, Me likey that therapist...and the fact that I feel so much smarter now, :)

Down Pillow, it was wasnt it?, LOL

Kristi, He knows not to mess with me now.

LL, I think I am going to just do it myself from now on. I agree, the no arguing part was the best part.

Halftime Lessons said...


If my wife starts following me around with a camera we are gonna have bigger problems than landscaping.


Great post, that was fun!!


Teri said...

hilarious! You go girl... but you would have really impressed him if your cute little self did it, but then that might set one of those precedents....

Kim said...

Thanks for the laugh. I completely agree! My husband is the same way!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Halftime Lessons, I'm just glad that he doesnt blog, LOL.

Teri, Hee hee, he totally thinks I did it still. Problem is tomorrow when members at church break it to him that I hired someone to do it. Okay...I think I better go tell him the truth. Like right before Sacrament.

Kim, Glad I am not alone! High Five!

NitWit1 said...

Very funny.

Not so funny my episode with the running toilet--not SEEPING, continuous running trying to fill the tank, but it ccould not. After several weeks including a week of company, I screamed about the water bill of 25,000 gallons. It got fixed.

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