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Friday, July 17, 2009

Omen of Perpetual Heat

I heard it rained last night--it's all that's on the news this morning. After what feels like six weeks of straight 100 degree plus days of hell, the mercury is finally falling below the century mark. This is a great thing, because I finally had to break down this last week and purchase a water-sprinkler from my local Walmart as a third of the the grass in my backyard dried up and withered to a golden crisp. Added to the crabgrass devastation, I had at least a million two-inch-wide bottomless cracks in the soil threatening me at any moment to open up and swallow me whole.

Do you know how difficult it is to buy a sprinkler at Walmart? I swear they had fifty of the Chinese made water contraptions to choose from.

As we traveled back to our home in North Texas from Utah, I could feel the air gradually become warmer and warmer. I complained most of the four days we were in Utah that it was cold and wet. I told my husband at least three times a day that this--the cold--was the reason that I would never live in Utah. Then, as we made our way to Amarillo and stopped to check out the Cadillac Ranch, the heat of the natural blowdryer hit my oily face and tormented my senses. It was an omen of what was to come--a teaser to say.

Cadillac Ranch will forever be ingrained in my mind as the Omen of Perpetual Heat. Perhaps that is what I get for spraying "SUT" (for Screwed Up Texan) onto one of the cars--this American icon is surely showing me its vengeance for my commercialism. Instead of telling me to "Go to Hell," it's sending me and the rest of y'all right there.

That's right. Just blame it on me.

Today's temperature--a much colder 99. Oh nevermind: they just raised it to 102. Those sneaky buggers.


Courtney said...

I feel your pain. I am orginally from Oklahoma and there is nothing worse than a string of 100+ degree days. Kentucky isn't as hot, but we sure have the humidity. UGH!!!

Jana said...

Courtney,pleas tell me you like Kentucky, I am headed there in October.

I lived In NC for the last two years and it was 105 for 14 days straight one summer, plus the humidity, I couldve died. Im from Seattle WA, you do the math.

GreenTease said...

Understand the heat ordeal... Las Vegas is well into the triple didgits now... UGH!!!!!

Tara said...

Living in southern Arizona, I can honestly say I feel your pain.

We're waiting for the next season, A Little Less Hot. Should be here in November.


Foursons said...

Isn't the heat this summer insane? I have lived in TX my whole life and do not have any memory of these 105-109 degree temps for so long without a break. Our foundation cracked- how could it not? This is some serious heat this year, and the I'm shooting the first person who blames it on global warming. 'Cause ya know- I'm allowed to have a hidden handgun.

Jennifer said...

wow, i'm glad the heat hasn't been that bad over here.

Emily S said...

My roommates and I were just there in Amarillo, spray painting away. Lucky for us we got there right in time for the most humid heat wave west Texas has ever seen, 09.

I feel your pain!

Stay cool!

Michelle Johnson said...

Today's weather has been nice, cool and a bit cloudy here. Here's hoping you can catch some relief soon. Hope your new sprinkler helps your lawn.

I'd love to see that Cadilac Ranch sometime. Have a great day.

Anonymous said...

Sounds horrendous. How do you get anything done in that heat? Hoping it cools for you soon.

Chef E said...

Our temps have finally begun to match yours here...I was sopping wet yesterday, as my hubbys air conditioning in the car went ka-put!

We did the cadillac ranch thingy and it was, well, a your humor! and the teeth!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Courtney, The humidity is what kills me. I feel like I am in a sauna...even the AC doesnt take the humidity out.

Jana, I'd do anything to be in Washington State right now. Even sing the Klondike Bar song.

GreenTease, My friend, Joy, lives in Lost I mean Las Vegas and says it is hot there too. I'd do anything to jump in one of those fancy water fountains right now to cool off. Instead, all I have is a sprinkler.

Tara, "A Little Less Hot." Y'all have that season too?

Foursons, Truth be told, the fear of my foundation cracking is what motivated my butt to drive to the Wally World.

Jennifer, Where do you live? Cause I'm crashing your place.

Emily S, Sounds like super--oods of fun! I wonder how hot it is in S Korea.

Michelle, You're so dang lucky.

CambridgeLady, I did nothing yesterday. The biggest reason I didn't post was b/c my office gets to over 90 F with these temps. I sweat sitting. It is horrible.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Chef E, Glad you get to feel some of our heat. Wish I could send it all to you. he he

chicamom85 said...

I hope it gets better soon. I would still love to visit Texas some day.


Shellgirl said...

NOW I know who to blame it on! Thanks for owning up to it! LOL

the nightingale said...

Vandal....:) The temps these days make me so very appreciative of AC.

Screwed Up Texan said...

chicamom85, Me too. I hear this weekend it is supposed to be cooler.

Shellgirl, Yes. I am the culprit. Perhaps if I own up to it, then this heat will go away.

the nightingale, A first time vandal as well. Wait. There was that one time in elementary school. Boy is that story...

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...


Want to hear about our unseasonable low of 54 the other night?

Hee-hee. You can get even in December.

Candance said...

It rained last night. Crap, I left my windows down and the sunroof open and I bet the Meathead didn't have the good sense to roll them up for me. He was probably doing squats or flexing in the mirror.

People up here in Chicago keep saying, "This has been the weirdest summer. We haven't even had a day where it reached 90 all summer." I'm like, oh, well, up yours cause we've had like 17 days over 100 or some such craziness in TX.

Isle Dance said...

Stay strong - we've go the heat, too. But we've also got the wind and water. Thinking of you...

Screwed Up Texan said...

Mindee, I will be gettin' you back.

Candance, Thank you. You are my hero. I wanted to tell the guy on The Weather Channel exactly that when they were whining about the cool summer.

Isle Dance, Here is one thing--I've always wondered where you're at. You've probably mentioned it before and I just cant recall. Thinking of you too.

Anonymous said...

Ouch. I'm dying when it gets above 90 in VA. Of course, the humidity is what makes it truly killer.

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