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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Me the Woman that is Jealous

I am jealous of my newest sister-in-law. I am jealous, because she has perfectly tamed hair and a sophisticated posture. I am jealous of my newest sister-in-law's small frame (aka thinness) and her natural endowments. Heck, I am even jealous of her smile--more specifically her perfectly straight teeth. Y'all haven't seen my Magdalena Hagdalena crooked teeth.

I don't know really what I was expecting when we drove to Utah last month. I think secretly I was hoping my brother-in-law was going to marry Godzilla. When I saw my new sister-in-law, my heart sank because I realized he got a pretty and nice one. Not that Godzilla wasn't nice...he was just confused and lonely.

Seriously though, I am glad my brother-in-law picked himself a good one. I've been wanting another sister-in-law for a while and I felt so elated and uplifted when I found out he was engaged. In a way I feel sorry for her though as this now means she has to put up with me. Me the jokester. Me the prankster. Me the talker. Me the crazy woman with a point-and-shoot camera.

Me the woman that can't seem to follow directions--who makes her own path--and then ruins the wedding mints.

Me the woman that thinks: Now why didn't I pick natural colors like her for my wedding reception?

Me the silly girl who had to tell her dorky joke to wedding guests:

I don't think cantaloupe was a good dish for my mother-in-law to bring to the reception...I mean, you know why the two melons couldn't get married, right? Well, because they cantaloupe (can't elope).

He he he, I kill myself.

The End.


April Dawn said...

HAHAHA.......guess it must be a texas thang, cause I loved the canteloupe joke. I'm a texas transplanted in Oklahoma, but always a texan at heart! I bet your sister in law is jealous of you too, and you just don't realize it. Your wittiness and ability to come up with great posts is something many of us bloggers are jealous of! And as for me, you can share those corny Texas jokes with me anytime!

Chef E said...

Okay in all honesty, I would have been right there at your side laughing at your joke, so you would not have been the only cheesy jokster! I think your funny, and love your teeth???

Foursons said...

Ah no worries. You can fatten her up in no time.

Michelle Johnson said...

They make a nice couple. Congrats to the newlyweds. The natural colors are really nice. Those cupcakes look really good. Have a great day.

the nightingale said...

:) I thought I might've been the only one to crack a bad joke at the wrong time... :D but yours was good too!
Looks like a beautiful wedding. Glad you have a new sis now! :)

Raine said...

My dad tells that joke ALL of the time. He loves it!

chicamom85 said...

What a beautiful couple. I am also jealous however. The joke...well the pictures are lovely.


Boots said...

I love your writing, it can make me laugh and some stories make me cry! I always say something stupid when I am nervous but want to make someone laugh ;oD...

I am the woman jealous of your blog and others because I wish I had thought of "that" too!

Screwed Up Texan said...

April Dawn, Thank you! Oklahoma has great is good to hear someone laughs at my jokes!

Chef E, I should show you my crooked smile sometime. Okay, maybe not.

Foursons, What a great idea!

Michelle, Those cupcakes were the best cupcakes I have ever had. The frosting was out of this world!

Nightingale, It's those Thought Filter Issues showing through again. I think.

Raine, No freakin' way. lol

Chicamom85,'s a little funny, right?

Boots, I'm always stickin' my foot in my mouth. :)

Karen said...

Beautiful wedding and I love your joke. I would have been laughing. I actually wish I had eloped. Wedding day was the worst day of my life, hands down. Never had another one come close to it, but I won't hijack your comments to tell that story.

Candance said...

The joke made me giggle and obviously, your sister-in-law is very young. Her metabolism hasn't slowed down so much she wonders if she coughed up her thyroid at some point. Even if she's not very young, don't tell me. I need to believe this because I tried on clothes today and left the store almost in tears.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Karen, Truth be told, I wish I'd eloped as well. I mean it was nice having it the traditional LSD way, but the craziness of that day and being somewhere new around hardly anyone I knew was very stressful.

Candance, Oh yes, she is very young. I think it must be in her genes to look so great b/c I met at least one of her sisters and she was just as great looking. Darn my genes to the Netherworld. And my jeans too.

AndySk8inMan said...

if you're gonna be texan, you gotta have meat on them bones.

she's way too small, give her a couple years to settle

obamaneshia said...

sounds greatt!

Amy @ Living Locurto said...

What a pretty wedding! Love those flowers... I'm jealous of her too.

Shellgirl said...

So funny! You crack me up!

Tazana said...

HAHA...I love the canteloupe joke. Love this blog!

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