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Thursday, July 2, 2009

I Have Thought Filter Issues


I've always been a little different than most people I know--a little quirky and a lot of a jokester. If I was nominated as anything in high school, it probably would have been "class clown." I've always pushed the envelope or as My Friend Who Shall Not Be Named says: Sometimes my thoughts don't quite make it through the filter.


After I graduated from high school, I immediately took a Greyhound bus up to Idaho where I went to college at Ricks which is now Brigham Young University-Idaho. I studied art and boys. Mostly the art of boys. Like that sketch of a naked man my friend's roommate had tacked to the inside of her closet door.

The area surrounding the college is beautiful and gorgeous and I was free for the first time in my life. Not a good thing.

Elder David Bednar was then President of Ricks College and I was attending a talk of some sort he was giving to my ward (I think) when after the meeting he and his wife stayed behind to shake hands with those that wanted to meet him. For those of you who don't already know, David Bednar attended Purdue University. So, being the jokester I am I just had to tell him the following joke:

Me: "President Bednar, how do you pay a Purdue University graduate?"

Bednar: "How?"

Me: "You pay him for the pizza."

Silence.

Bednar, very jokingly replied: "You do realize I hold the keys to your diploma?"

Can anyone say thought filter issues?

The first home we bought in Lewisville, Texas we had some lovely Southern Baptist neighbors. We loved the heck out of them. Of all the neighbors we have ever had they were probably the most neighborly. Now, being one of very few Mormons in my family and school, I got teased for being a Latter-Day Saint a lot. Honestly, it never bothered me and I always took the moment to get them back when I could. My neighbor ribbed me a time or two.

One day our very neighborly neighbor was helping my husband with our retaining wall which stood between our houses. I decided to take my middle child out to check on the progress of their work. My middle child at that time had two bruises on the opposite sides of his forehead from an encounter with his brothers of some kind. Inevitably, my Southern Baptist neighbor asks me, "What happened to him?"

My response...get ready here..."Oh you know we're Mormon. Those are just his horn bumps coming up!"

Yes, my name is Allie and I have thought filter issues.

Either that or just one really smart butt.

17 Comments:

LeAnn said...

SO glad to hear that I'm not the only one with these issues. :P

Foursons said...

I too suffer from this ailment. Is there a pill out there for it?

Dijea said...

I have this problem too, unfortunately my affliction tends to get me into a lot of trouble. I blame it on a VERY DRY sense of humor and an even more insane husband who feeds into it - or makes it worse.

I think let the un-filtered things out. Makes for a interesting life.

The Other Woman said...

It's so true. I never understood the horn thing with mormons. My best friend growing up was also Southern Baptist and we were like the Fox and the Hound. Our differences became extremely apparent as we became adults and "free" to make our own choices. I made the most mistakes, but came full circle. She didn't seem to ever... circle. I'm not sure that's a religious issue necessarily but definitely a factor of how we were raised.

Raine said...

Thats a great joke! Im gonna remember it

Chef E said...

I think you turned out adorable, and those boys are lucky you have that sense of humor to carry you through!

Funny Girl said...

I have it too. I am from Las Vegas and one day at a political rally, some yahoo was expousing on why Nevanda should store nuke waste at Yucca Mountain. The jist of his argument was that sooner later, Nevada would get stuck the waste, and the federal government would pay Nevada a lot of money to store the crap in my backyard....I was 19 and my remark to the yahoo was; So, your argument is, since Nevada is gonna get the crap anyway; she should just lay down and take the money for it?

Amy @ Living Locurto said...

Love that perm you were sporting! You were hot! hee.

Rebel With an XT said...

Dear Sister Funny Pants,

We have a couple of things in common that I did not realize when I started stalking, um, following your blog, but now I just have to let you know what I think of you and your little blog! You are hysterical and I had noooo idea you were LDS, and have "thought filter issues" (2 unusual but happy coincidences we have in common). Thanks for putting a nicer name on what people usually say about my "thought filter issues", I will have to correct everyone from now on and teach them the "PC" name for what I have!
Michelle

Screwed Up Texan said...

LeAnn, Whew! I feel so much better already.

Foursons, if I find the pill for it, I'll let you know. If you find the pill, please let me know. ;)

DiJea, You are feeding into my excuse. Thank you.

Raine, Works great with any school.

Chef, I dont know what I would do without my sense of humor.

FunnyGirl, Now that is funny! We should get together sometime...we'd be a hoot.

Amy, I was pretty hot huh? Perms are the way to go. Wait. Crimps are the way to go (just wait til I show that pic).

Rebel with an XT, Thought filter issues is a nice term for being a smartalec. I am thought filter challenged. lol

DangGina said...

You don't know me, and I don't know you, but I'm still laughing at the Elder Bednar conversation. So. Funny! Ha!

gina.orgill@gmail.com

Michelle Johnson said...

You're a nice looking young woman in these pictures even with these thought filter issues. I think a sense of humor such as you have is a good thing. Makes life more bearable. Hope all is well.

Auntie Em said...

I'm NOT the only one!!! He he he. As always you have made me smile and just wanted to say thanks because I really needed it today :)

Applesauce said...

You are my hero :) We all want to say that kind of stuff, but only a few brave souls ever do.

I was reading your story and read that you used to live in San Saba. I grew up in a neighboring town. I learned how to drive on Old San Saba Road. I also know what it's like to grow up with parents who partied too much...Please keep sharing your story.

the nightingale said...

That was a bad joke..... :) I love stuff like that. Nice pic of you at top, got to get mine done sometime; maybe it'll turn out as well as yours did! :)

nancypants said...

I frequently have the same issue!!

KMDuff said...

I'm pretty sure he was joking in his response to you too. :D Hee hee. :D

The horn bump story makes me laugh! Hopefully your neighbors too? I wish I was that quick in the moment. I only think of funny things after the fact.

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