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Friday, July 24, 2009

Conversation with an Anonymous Friend

I have this friend who is currently studying Spanish in Spain for the summer who I have known for a long time. We were college roommates and have been buddies since then. We know each other. We get each other. We should have been sisters.

We felt an instant connection in college as we both come from broken families. We shared our stories and our frustrations of feeling like no one really understood us. When I left Ricks College half-way through the fall semester from education burn-out we remained in touch. A couple years later she embarked on her dream of serving a proselyting mission to South Korea, which she loved except how she felt women were looked upon. She went to South Korea a vegetarian and emerged a full-fledged omnivore after experiencing the delight of eating animals I'd keep as pets.

Namely dog.

I used to tease my anonymous friend (anonymous because she says I can share the following conversation, but just not use her name, however anyone that has been reading this blog long enough knows who this so-called anonymous friend is--I warned her!) about being afraid of boys and not getting married and having children like I chose to do. Now I just envy this friend and all the adventures she has had in life traveling to Russia, South Korea, Ecuador, and now Europe. Recently, we were instant messaging each other and the following completely random conversation came up:

Me: So, my kids just figured out how to siphon water from the bathroom sink to the carpet in the hallway using the vacuum hose.

Anonymous Friend: Really? How?

Me: I don't know, but do you want them?

AF: No thank you...I already have to deal with 150 hormonal teens nine months out of the year. (My friend teaches junior high.)

Me: Just think--when you get pregnant you'll be the hormonal one for nine months that everyone has to deal with.

AF: Ha ha. So guess what...I have something interesting to tell you: I have the hots for a Catholic priest at the place I am studying.

Me: What?!

AF: Yes. I think he likes me too...I can feel the pheromones between us and he has plenty gushing from him.

Me: Why do you always fall for the unavailable ones?

AF: I don't know. I guess cause all the good men my age are either married or priests. (She's 28.)

Me: I guess.

AF: Just think: We could have a Mormon/Catholic wedding.

Me: Yah, and then he could marry y'all and also (insert smartalecky remark here).

AF: I'll never find a guy, will I?

Me: You should have been a nun.

AF: But I could never endure celibacy. I have been waiting for far too long.

I kid you not--all our conversations end with us talking about La Chaca Chaca. I have the best reproductive conversations with this inexperienced friend of mine. I couldn't help but crack up chatting with her. Apparently she busted up laughing in a computer lab somewhere in Europe.

Beyond a doubt, we should have been sisters.


Sheril said...

Hi I have been reading your blog for a few weeks and I love it. I found my "sister" 4 years ago when i moved to a strange city. I know just what you are saying. sometimes we will go for coffee and sit by the water and be talking about something innocent, and it ends up being something about french ducks and invisable girrafes, and us laughing so hard you have tears coming down our faces, Enjoy that relation ship they are hard to find and soo rewarding.

Heather said...

lol this is a very funny blog. I too have a friend like this though he is male, but we should have been brother and sister

the nightingale said...

Ha, ha!!! too funny...hots for a Catholic priest...I love it. :D

DangGina said...

How is it that so many conversations turn to this? -I'm on the same page as your single friend (minus one year, and a few continents...)

3 cheers for long-time friends!

Candance said...

Has she seen the "Thorn Birds"? Meggie loved Ralph, but she couldn't have him, but she did have his baby and she loved Dane more than her daughter and then Dane died and then Ralph died and then Meggie was alone and bitter.

Moral: Maybe we don't love the priest, even if he is hot.

I have a friend the conversation always turns to nookie with, too, and she's a virgin. Crazy.

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