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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My Husband is Cheap!

My husband is CHEAP.

Really cheap.

Super cheap.

So, why do I say my husband is cheap?

1.) He wears his socks until I throw them away. I throw them away because they have one-inch holes in them.

2.) He wears his shoes until I throw them away too. I throw them away because of the hole thing, except I have to be super sneaky with throwing his shoes away…I must do it as soon after he leaves for work in the morning and only on trash day. Otherwise, he will take them out of the garbage sack and wear them.

3.) He gets out of his truck and picks up loose change on the road, even when he is stopped at a red light on a busy street.

4.) He makes leftover burritos with anything in the fridge, no matter how old it is and as long as he sees no visible mold on it.

5.) Once, he washed fly eggs off of hotdogs that he had left next to the grill and forgot about all day. Then he ATE them!!!

6.) For three years, my husband tried different home remedies, including this one, to cure his athlete’s foot fungus. Finally, after I made an appointment with a doctor, he got medical treatment.

7.) My husband holds the motto from Meet the Parents to the letter, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down.”

8.) The last time we went out West, we stopped at a motel in a dinky town in New Mexico. He would not pay more than $29 per night to sleep somewhere. So, the motel he picked just happened to be one of those “hooker type” motels that stank of cigarettes and old sex. He didn’t tell the attendant he had a wife and three kids with him. I couldn’t sleep all night long and definitely not on that filthy bed that I was sure had some disease. We left at 1:30 AM, all because my husband is CHEAP.

We can thank his mother for that.

Do you know anyone cheap?

4 Comments:

Anonymous said...

yes...SHEN

Shanna said...

LOL girl im sorry but that is funny! Well, some mean are like that. Luckily i guess i married a guy that will spend whatever it takes to make me happy.. LOL~ Of course, he loves a good margarita and we will go out to eat and he will get a buzz, then take me shopping and i get to take advantage of that.. hehe

Allie said...

Yah, I actually read it to Shen before I published the post and even he was laughing!

Liza said...

OMG, my husband too! Not so much with the food stuff, that grosses him out, but with everything else in the world! Drives me nuts!! We once drove from RI to FL straight through because he didn't want to pay for a hotel room along the way!!! I feel your pain :)

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